اردو فنڈا کے بہترین سلسلے اور ہائی کلاس کہانیاں پڑھنے کے لئے ابھی پریمیم ممبرشپ حاصل کریں

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Thread: آئےبہار بن کے

  1. #1
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    Default آئےبہار بن کے

    کودئ کا بیٹا لقمان اپنے بھائیوں کے ساتھ شکار کھیل رہا تھا وہاں ان کو کسی اور قبیلے کی چار لڑکیاں ملیں.
    لقمان نے سب سے خوش لباس مگر سانولے رنگ کی لڑکی پسند کی اس کے بھائیوں نے اس کا مذاق اڑایا اور کہا لقمان پہ خٹا
    لقمان کی اولاد اسی لیے خٹک کہلاتی ہے.



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    Last edited by Adviser; 18-11-2010 at 01:07 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default

    Dear naveed achi koshish ha likhny k magr ghaltian kafi ziada han ,

    umeed ha agly dafa kuch acha post kero gay

    Thanks

  3. #3
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    Lightbulb

    Dear kahani achi likhi hai lakin thora time detay to aur achi ho sakti thi next time is baat ka khayal rakhna

  4. #4
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by naveed_123 View Post
    jesi bhi hai parh lain


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    achhi hai spelling ki ghaltiya itni bhi nahi k samjh na aai is ko ignore kia ja sakta hai last pashto ko translate nahi kia aur sex bahot kam hai sirf ek hi scene? yih to jiadti hai na ek dam se khatam kar di itni achhi tarah start kar k. aik aadh bharpor sex scene dalo aur.

  5. #5
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    Default

    nice work
    thanks for sharing

  6. #6
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    Bus yar itna kahoon ga aachi koshis hy bbut ur accha karny ki zarorat hy..................!
    Kahani extend bhi ho sakti thi ur zeyada achi banai ja sakti thi....!
    but well done....!

  7. #7
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    Der alaa Roraa. wese mujhay itni he pashtu ati hai hehehe

  8. #8
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    Default

    bohat khob dear lage raho


    Last edited by BaD_____BoY; 14-11-2010 at 05:37 PM. Reason: addvertisments not allowed

  9. #9
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    der kha da yaar khas kar pastho ka izafa bra he shandar tha
    likin bhai mere tori or mehnat karo yaar
    Last edited by khan lala; 15-11-2010 at 02:22 PM.
    Once You have learned to Love. You will have learned to Live
    KHAN LALA

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    Default

    Dear Naveed,

    Achi kahani likhi hy, do teen scene hona chahiya thy, wesy kahani achi lagi...........

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